Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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