He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
