I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i've created a new STD.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize