I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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