Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
