Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
