I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
