What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
