i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
