My underwear smells like fireworks.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Blood and glitter go together right?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
