i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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