hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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