your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
