I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
