I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
