there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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