brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
