Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
