I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize