Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
