my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
