a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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