I can't breathe out the right side of my face
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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