Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
