never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
