worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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