i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
