You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
