Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
