"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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