Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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