its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
