Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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