Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
