billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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