3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think a kid would responsible me up
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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