I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
