This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Nicole vs. Life
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
