Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
