I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
