im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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