There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
