just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
