I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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