Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
