Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
