Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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