When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
