you traded sex for a burrito?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
