Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
