so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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