I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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