He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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