He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
