i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
