So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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