I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
