why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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