Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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