I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
