Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize