the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
