it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
