I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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