I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
