Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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