Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
