TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
